Tag Archive for 'communication skills'

Treat it as a performance

Published on 17 February, 2010 in Design and High performance. 0 Comments Tags: , .

Delivering a presentation that is smooth, insightful and ends right on time can be a big ask. Lots of intelligent people mess it up. One of the speakers who really seems to get it right is Malcolm Gladwell. If you have ever watched him speak (like here on TED), you may notice how he speaks eloquently, even effortlessly, and ends with precise punctuality.

When asked about it once, Gladwell replied, “I know it may not look like this. But it’s all scripted. I write down every word and then I learn it off by heart. I do that with all my talks and I’ve got lots of them.”

It’s great to connect with your audience as if you were just having a casual chat with them. And sometimes that’s precisely what you will want to do. Other times, like maybe when you want to really nail it, you might be interested to discover what happens when you go beyond the bullet points and rehearse, refine and distill the most important information that you are there to share. Focus on the most important stuff; skip the rest. Polish, polish, polish. And you might just find yourself on a level where you have that polish that casual speaking just doesn’t allow.

While memorizing isn’t “the answer”, if you want to deliver a professional-standard speech, you might consider treating your next presentation as a performance.

Bringing deliberate practice into speaking is challenging – hence so many speakers stagnate – though by refining your work, looking for ways to raise your standards, you give yourself a chance of lifting your bar.

That what seems to work for the guy who wrote The Tipping Point, Blink, Outliers and, more recently, What the Dog Saw.

Asking for what you really want

Published on 20 January, 2010 in Inner game. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , .

My friend John asked me today why I do what I do. It’s a pretty big question. After responding with, “just because” he probed further and gave me the opportunity to share with him (inflict upon him?) some of my rationalizations, justifications and excuses. It was delightfully self-indulgent :D

But it didn’t give him the answer that he was after.
What he really wanted to know was what I hoped to get from doing what I do. He was looking to understand what I was doing things for. And you don’t get that by asking, “Why?”

Even phonetically, “why” sounds so much like “whine”!

Asking someone why opens a can of worms as much as it gives them a chance to talk. Maybe you want to know why – it happens. But much of the time you’ll get the information that you’re really after faster by asking “what for”.

Maybe try it out with yourself – notice something that you do. Perhaps something that you’d like to change, but even for something that really juices you and makes you feel great. Then ask yourself, “Why do I do that?”

And then ask, “What do I do that for?”

Notice the difference. You could try it out on someone else too…

A General Evaluation

Published on 1 April, 2009 in High performance. 2 Comments Tags: , , .


Last Monday night, I gave an evaluation of the meeting of China’s oldest Toastmasters Club, Shanghai No. 1, at their 499th meeting. You can watch it above but some of the key points are below:

  • Utilization: Use whatever happens to get across your message.
  • Frame the message and prepare the audience.
  • Say less; communicate more.
  • Take your time. When you do, speak with a purpose.
  • Share the emotional component of the message, not just the content.
  • Everytime we stand up, we’re looking to expand our skills.
  • Set the frame – when you speak, identify the criteria for success or at least the guidelines that you are working towards.
  • There are no excuses – don’t make them for yourself or give them to other people. Give your best.
  • When things go wrong, strive to make the problem invisible. Make it look as though it was part of the plan.

Great short speeches

Published on 18 March, 2009 in High performance. 5 Comments Tags: , .

Everytime we speak we have an opportunity to refine our skills. Whether it’s for one minute while giving a timer’s report, 1-2 minutes for table topics, 2-3 minutes for an evaluation or for a longer role, a great deal of our speaking skill can be seen in just a few moments.

Malcolm Gladwell wrote a book (called Blink) on the subject of how we make snap judgments based on very little information. It’s just how we all are.

As I was watching one speaker making a very short presentation last month, three things stood out:

  • Use your best voice
    Some people sound terrible. Maybe it’s the pitch, or the pronunciation, or the smoothness or the resonance. Listen to your own voice and notice how you can make listening to yourself even more appealing. I always remember my cousin getting so excited about listening to Mark Hunter who she described as having “a voice like chocolate”. Now we heard him delivering a speech in about 1999 but a few years later he made it through to the World Championships.
  • Use stories
    Nice stories. Tight and clean stories – with a point and that are interesting or amusing. Stories that validate your authority to speak and support the emotions you are looking to transfer to your audience.
  • Look to make a point
    Have something to say. If you don’t know what to say, think about it. Great speakers give something to their audience rather than talking out loud.

Use every opportunity to speak and refine your skills that you get!

NLP in Love

Published on 16 February, 2009 in Creativity and genius, Lifestyle and relationships. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , , , .

This afternoon, Wendy and I delivered a short session entitled NLP in Love. We explored a few simple NLP techniques that can enhance the quality of relationships.

We found how “Perceptual Positions” help us understand things from the other person’s perspective – especially when we take the time to really step into their shoes and experience things from their model of the world. It’s a pretty easy process, at least once you learn it. We used the Dilts Meta Mirror exercise.

The subject of “presence” came up a few times, in particular how important it is to spend time totally focused on the other person… in this age of short attention spans, having the undivided attention of another person is perhaps even more precious and valued than ever before.

If you really care about someone, it’s pretty smart to let them know! Not just to feel that way, but to let them know that you feel that way, and to communicate it in a way that they’ll understand. So we explored love strategies, the specific experiences that can help us feel loved. For one person, it involved receiving money (really!!!); for another, it just took a certain look or a touch on the shoulder. We’re each unique, but understanding ourselves can help us better communicate our needs and to better understand those we care about.

More generally, use what works for you…

It’s been more than a dozen years since I discovered NLP and I’m still enjoying learning more…

Of course if you’re interested in learning more about Wendy’s studies into intimate relationships, see Dao of Love

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