Archive for the 'Lifestyle' Category

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The Science of Meditation

Published on 4 November, 2006 in Lifestyle. 0 Comments Tags: , .

It’s amazing that in an era of unfathomable wealth, we are left with so much mental illness, especially depression. Yet with a bit of thinking, you can see that happiness is a choice.

Feeling happy is not something that happens to you… it is something that you do.

Certainly stuff happens – anyone who has looked at getting married will know that stressful things happen – but the way that we choose to deal with it remains in our hands.

I love the Dalai Lama’s work. I’ve read a few of his books, and encourage you to invest that time into yourself too. Likewise, I enjoy immersing myself in a bit of Wayne Dyer from time to time. It may not leave you as pumped and inspired as Tony Robbins, but you’re likely to feel happier, live healthier and enjoy life a bunch more – kinda what Tony encourages you to aim for ironically!

Check out the link to see how science shows that a meditating monk is off the chart on the happiness scales – by scientific measurements!

If you haven’t already, you need to try out meditation… it’s part of the future of happiness-centred living.

(From the link) Last year Dr. Richard Davidson, director of the Laboratory for Affective Neuroscience at the University of Wisconsin and a conference presenter, used an fMRI machine to map the brain of monk Matthieu Ricard.

While Ricard, a monk with over 30 years’ experience in contemplative practice, engaged in what Buddhists call compassion meditation, Davidson measured the activity in his brain. The pictures showed excessive activity in the left prefrontal cortex (just inside the forehead) of Ricard’s brain.

Generally people with happy temperaments exhibit a high ratio of activity in the left prefrontal cortex, an area associated with happiness, joy and enthusiasm. Those who are prone to anxiety, fear and depression exhibit a higher ratio of activity in the right prefrontal cortex.

But the degree to which the left side of Ricard’s brain lit up far surpassed 150 other subjects Davidson had measured. No one knows whether Ricard might have exhibited the same results before he became a monk. But given that his readings were off the chart for happiness, Richardson believes that studying the minds of meditating monks can help us learn how meditation can mold our brains to develop happier and less-afflicted temperaments.

Buddhists have long maintained that meditation offers great benefits to their minds and bodies, but the empirical world has demanded more proof than personal testimonials. As Ajahn Amaro, an abbot at the Abhayagiri Buddhist Monastery in northern California put it on Saturday, “people believe in the great god of data.”

Therefore, the Dalai Lama hopes researchers can scientifically prove that meditation has medical and emotional benefits, and then divorce it from its spiritual Buddhist roots to offer the world a secular method for relieving suffering and finding happiness.

Globalising health care

Published on 25 October, 2006 in Business, Lifestyle, Science and technology and Social development. 2 Comments

A while back, I was thinking about the future of health care. While I appreciate the great health care that we receive in Australia, globalisation is starting to have an impact… and I wonder where it’s going.

While outsourcing pregnancy (aka surrogate pregnancy) is a fascinating concept, more relevant for many of us is having the more general concept of medical tourism. To me, it’s another example of how development occurs when developed economies offshore their lower value activities – the best sort of foreign aid that we can offer!

While I salute the efforts of guys like Dion at www.NobleDentist.com.au to lower the cost of health care within Australia, some of the bigger picture solutions are going to involve enterprises like Planet Hospital. These guys assert that they can give you great care from top doctors in some of the most technologically advanced hospitals in the world… for a fraction of the price.

Kangaroo Point after rollerblading

Published on 18 October, 2006 in Lifestyle and Social development. 5 Comments

Brisbane is such a beautiful city. The river is alive with boats and activity, and it’s great to make the time to get down to the river. Hopefully with a few extra bridges and the odd tunnel we’ll not be quite so immobilized when one has some problems like the Riverside expressway did yesterday…

Dangers of political parties

Published on 31 July, 2006 in Lifestyle and Social development. 0 Comments

I’ve been openly concerned about the nature of our political system for quite some time. While I’ve been disciplined in my avoidance of branch-level politics, I was a candidate at the last federal election, and I have seen more than enough mess to know what a dangerous game it can be. It hasn’t helped that I’ve dated the odd branch president and even the sister of a state president.

I was only ever involved in politics as a way to make a positive impact upon the world. To me, service should be the motivation – not the power over others. It is ironic that the very same objectivist capitalists that tend to be attracted to the right will then become the ‘ultimate secondhanders’ by pursuing power over others.

Perhaps we all strive to gain power to make up for our own inadequacies. Yet in doing so, in striving to ‘have’ so much, we just fall into another form of the idolotry that is also manifested in the pervasive and unsustainable affluenza that we face.

We all live strategically. We all pursue a purpose, working towards an objective. We aren’t always conscious of that objective, nor aware of the ultimate outcomes and ramifications inherent. Edward de Bono might encourage us to use a C&S (Consequences and Sequals) mental operation to gain insight as to where we’re headed…

What if you could take a minute… just a minute… and really think about where you’re headed. And, when you can envision that destination, what if you could ask yourself whether you really want to go there?

Sure, it’s hard to say what you really want… but surely you can see what you don’t want.

Forgiveness vs Nonjudgment

Published on 14 July, 2006 in Lifestyle, Overcoming and Self-awareness. 0 Comments

The virtue of forgiveness was the topic of a heated debate that a friend had with his was-to-be mother-in-law. She argued that forgiving people and forgiving ourselves is the path to happiness and (in my words) reunion with God. While acknowledging that forgiveness is a better ‘place’ than remaining in judgment of another, that we should strive for nonjudgment as the ultimate virtue.

In my life, the only times that I have had to forgive others is when I had judged them in the first place. To judge another requires us to forget that we and they are sprung from the same stock, are partakers of the same hope and sharers of the same nature… to judge another we judge that part of ourselves that lies within them that is currently being manifested by the very thing that you condemn. We see the flaws in others most clearly when we hold them close to our heart ourselves.

Ironically, the ‘debate’ existed because she denied that we could suspend judgment! I was being told that it was impossible to not judge someone who wrongs us, and therefore forgiveness is the highest perfection to which we might aspire. To me (and this could be my narcissism), she was telling me that something that she chose to believe impossible for her was also impossible for me… instead of acknowledging and encouraging the pursuit of a higher purpose.

I find this habit worst amongst individuals who bury their ‘dark’ side rather than coming to a sense of peace and resolution through accepting and releasing that darkness, realising that the only antidote to darkness is light. Self-righteous Christians are amongst the worst.

Forgiving another requires us to judge… so it were better that we not judge in the first place.

When I met that friend’s friend earlier this week, the girl looking for love in all the wrong places, I could not judge her. While I could see where she was going and the pain that she was going through, I could only empathise with her plight, appreciating the pain that she goes through. It would be easy to make the mistake of me telling her that she is doing the ‘wrong’ thing by continuing to make her mistakes, and that she should learn from my mistakes… and there was a time when I would have tried to impose my experience on her! Yet I now know that our mistakes are our mistakes: they can’t be had by another.

I try to spend a little time each day in silence and a little time in nonjudgment… noticing and accepting that no matter how the world might appear, knowing that it is ‘perfect’ just the way it is, and being grateful that it is unfolding as it should. I’ll strive to spend days in nonjudgment.

Training and changing and loving

Published on 14 July, 2006 in Lifestyle and relationships. 0 Comments

There is a great deal of thought that goes into destroying most relationships. It takes time and energy to get close enough to another human being to actually separate at all, rather than just passing by each other.

While I continue to advocate ‘pure, passionate and perfect’ loving relationships, to my frustration and even disappointment at times, I still believe that it were better to have loved and lost…

One of the issues that often arises is about changing our partners. The ‘conventional’ wisdom is that we can’t change the people that we are with. Yet, without trying to save them, there are always things that we can do to help each other grow and expand and sometimes to let go of the things that hold us back. It can be dangerous of course to do such things… if they really do grow and change, you never quite know whether you’ll like what they become – or if they’ll like you once they have!

I know of a guy putting together “The Girlfriend Training Program” (which is really a boyfriend training program branded to be confrontational), yet when I read that the article in the NYTimes was the most read article in the last 30 days, it occurred to me that there are a lot of people who really want to do some fine tuning on their relationships.

It’s not just intimate relationships that we want and need to fine tune either. Social relationships are inevitably sources of conflict and misunderstanding; we need to learn to clearly communicate how we want and expect to be treated if we actually want to make things better.

I was speaking with a friend about their friend’s relationship. She’s a beautiful spirit, looking to give love and share love, wanting to connect deeply, intimately and profoundly. Yet her man ‘treats her mean and keeps her keen’, without ever really opening up to her or sharing a fraction of the love that she desperately craves. She is stopping herself from having the relationship that she purports to want by not communicating openly and honestly what she wants and needs – even if she does it verbally, surely that she ‘puts up’ with what she is given communicates far more powerfully that his current behaviour is acceptable.

Sometimes I wonder where the limits lie with our ‘training’ of those around us. While we can say that we can try to change the ‘little things’, how can we really tell the difference anyway. And with the majority of stress in our lives actually coming from the ‘minor’ annoyances, sometimes the little things are the big things.

Perhaps more significantly, how often do we try to change others instead of dealing with the real problem by by changing ourselves…

Great suit – want a better one?

Published on 7 July, 2006 in Business, Cool friends and ideas, High performance and Lifestyle. 0 Comments

I went to David Jones on Wednesday afternoon, anxious to compare the quality of shirts and suits available at our premium department store. I was staggered… I couldn’t believe how much better my company’s garments are!

Their ‘best’ suit was a $1195 Hugo Boss. It was a Super 100 wool, had pickstitching and was neatly finished. But it was obscenely mediocre. I’ve grown accustomed to wearing fine fabrics, bespoke tailored to my precise measurements, but I missed just how much better my company’s garments are. Their best, a grade of 100s, is at the bottom end of our range – you can have a suit that I think is as good or better than anything in the Department stores for $600 or even less.

And despite being from a German company, they were made in Turkey – we’re a 100% Australian owned company… go over and have a look if you haven’t already!

The ego is a mask…

Published on 3 July, 2006 in Lifestyle, relationships and Self-awareness. 0 Comments

The ego is a mask that becomes a sarcophogus when you let your Self die.

How do arrogance and ego relate? A dear friend behaved in a manner towards her beloved that he would never have accepted as behaviour from himself, yet he continued to love with patience and determination. For him, his compassion and love for her allowed him to believe that whilst he would never do what she did, that her experiences meant that such behaviour was expected even if not acceptable. Was he arrogant?

Surely it is not arrogant to have unreasonable standards. But is it more arrogant to hold others accountable to those high standards, or to not hold them to those standards?

If she were to cheat on him, would it be arrogant for him to be willing to take her back knowing that an ordinary person might do the same, even if he never would?

In this sense, how can we reconcile compassion and arrogance?

Pursuing a nonjudgmental consciousness is part of almost every Great Path. Perhaps when we suspend judgment by the ego we can uphold our standards for ourselves while peacefully and compassionately seeking to understand the shortfalls of those around us. I wonder…

Ubersexuality and sugar and farewells

Published on 1 July, 2006 in Cool friends and ideas and Lifestyle. 0 Comments

Sugar is bad for you… not just a little bit, but a lot. I used to love sugar: It’s time to let go. “My coffee” is an affogato – a short black with a generous scoop of icecream (ideally a doppio or double shot with three lovely scoops of fine ice cream, best served at The Three Monkeys in West End, though 16th on Park is good too… but I digress). It’s filled with sugar, caffeine and fat – and I love them. Yet I know that refined sugar is something that is killing me. It’s easy to break the addiction… just stop putting the damn stuff into my mouth!

Metrosexuality is so last season. It seems that we are finally encouraging men to be men… letting them stop waxing their chests and putting crap (I mean ‘product’) in their hair and realising that a men weren’t made to look like women. I’m an incurable romantic and passionate advocate for being pure of heart and focused on serving: I sense that we’re about to see a move towards valuing masculinity rather than hiding it… I think we’ll call it ‘ubersexuality‘. He’s hairer, smellier (think leather, cigars and the woods) and he’s more Martin Crowe than David Beckham.

I’m very proud to say that one of my karate students took out second in the world championships of the National All Styles competition. For a long time, I have criticised non-contact ‘contests’ as being dancing – making his success all the more remarkable! Travis has done us all proud… He didn’t know how to do it from day 1: Instead, he put 100% of his energy into every session and into every step along the way… he was training like a champion, like a black belt, from his first session. Maybe he’s aggressive – but we’re training to fight.

James Blunt’s “Goodbye My Lover” is playing again… it reminds me of a life changing few days at Kirribilli, walking along the beach at Manly on dusk, a broken spoon from Gelatteria at Circular Quay, Pancakes, The Rocks, Couran, China, Vaucluse… and perhaps a few broken promises. But most of all it reminds me of the lies that we tell ourselves… lies that take us away from the Truth and from Love.

The path of the warrior… the path of the artist…

Published on 8 June, 2006 in Cool friends and ideas and Lifestyle. 0 Comments

I came across a story promoting the movie of Peaceful Warrior, a movie version of Dan Millman’s book about pursuing the spiritual path. This is predicated by the notion that a spiritual or personal ‘path’ in life can be compared with a war… that we struggle to overcome our personal challenges and must discipline ourselves as a warrior would in preparing and fighting a physical enemy.

Bushido, literally the way of the warrior, was the code of honour that the samurai were bound by in the past; today, martial artists throughout the world apply this both to their own training, and through analogy to life in general.

Over brunch with an artist this morning, it occurred to me that the ‘warrior’ path and the ‘artist’ path are very similar. While overtly different, there is a great deal of overlap… the warrior must give themselves to their task, with a consciousness that this day may be his (or her) last. The artist must give themselves to their task, with a consciousness that this piece is the only thing that matters in that moment. After observing a number of parallels, I realised that the ‘warrior’ path or the ‘artist’ path is not so much about being at war or creating art…

Following your path is about being congruent.
Following your path is about focusing in the moment.
Following your path is about manifesting in the world that which you purport to value, rather than living in a state of dissonance and dischord.

Different metaphors allow us access to different insights to your path, though your path remains.

Allow me to commend to you whatever path you feel ‘turns you on’, ‘blows your hair back’ or ‘does it for you’… I believe that the Truth comes from being true to yourself; not from blindly following that which you have been given, nor from ignoring your intuition, but from being guided and noticing how you can refine your personal path in each moment.

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