The trouble with whining

A friend was lamenting that he was sick of whining. And I could understand why – he had inflicted his whining on me too!

Whining doesn’t get us very far itself but it can be a phase that we need to go through until you figure out what you want and start working on how. While you’re whining, you’re not focusing on what you want; when you can get clear, set some targets and at least start moving – even if only with baby steps. And once you’re moving towards where you want to be, the world is a very different place.

Like a rocking chair: Fun for a while without getting you anywhere.

The trick is to break ourselves out of the cycle of whining and complaining. We’ve got lots of good reasons to whine too – life isn’t fair. Yet whining doesn’t make things better. Whining gives us a sense of connection with ourselves and with others when we whine to others – a feeling of self pity is at least a feeling of connection.

Sooner or later, the solution is to stop it. And when you do, remember that there’s a great intention behind that behaviour – that you want things to be better and you want to connect with others. Rather than chastising yourself for having whined in the first place, what would happen if you focused on the positive intent of the behaviour and started connecting positively and working towards what you want?

3 comments on “The trouble with whining

  1. Sometimes, you warn yourself stop whining, it triggers more rebellious thoughts…if you ultimately overcome the negative thoughts in no time, your ability of focusing might be extended and yourself might become literally stronger. I think most of us are look forward to enhancing such ability.

    And it is good to realize that “We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.” (Carlos Castaneda)

  2. Fighting against your impulses directly seldom makes those impulses go away… but rather buries them.
    Of course when we are able to connect to the message of those impulses, the intention behind them, and find another way to satisfy that intention, miracles happen.

  3. true. And its also about expressing ones self. So long as the same tape doesnt keep playing over and over again.

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