In Brisbane a few years ago, I met a well known psychologist who studied with Maslow. He was telling me how there are three attributes that self-actualisers share in particular:
- Independent of the good opinion of others
Do you like others to like, approve and validate you, or do you need it so much that you change your behaviour on the basis of what others will think of you?
- Non-attachment to outcome
It’s great to have things turn out the way that we intend them, though self-actualisers do their part regardless of their outcome. They write because they are a writer – not because others read what they write
- No investment in power over others
Having people love you and support you can make life easier and more pleasurable, however self-actualisers regard influence for its own sake as pointless. Though they may enjoy sharing the journey, though would prefer ‘fellow travellers’ rather than ‘disciples’.
Yesterday I was listening to a TEDÂ talk on the “Slowing down in aÂ world built for speed”, ironically while the bus that I was travelling in was crawling along South Pudong Road, and again this seemed to fit very nicely. Let’s take the time to appreciate our world without regressing to the need to dominate others.