Monthly Archive for August, 2007

Ideas are everywhere: Innovation changes the world.

Last night I presented a training session. Here’s the 100 word summary… 

Transform creativity into innovation by organizing your ideas. Whether you’re in a meeting, brainstorming or thinking on your own, convert your ideas into action by identifying it as one of three things:

  1. An outcome or action for your task list,
  2. Filed for periodic review, or
  3. Filed for reference.

Once you have actions on your task list, delegate them to the right person for the job. When you focus on what’s most important and do what you’re best at, you might start to notice yourself showing your talent – and even genius – being revealed.

Financial freedom and passive income is very overrated…

A while back, I wrote an article entitled “Beyond Passive Income“, an attack on the modern obsession with being financially free on the basis that I believe that we should do what we love now rather than postponing doing what we love and upon my belief that when we do what we love and love what we do, in that moment we become truly free.

In a few popular wealth creation seminars (eg Tony Robbins’ Wealth Mastery), you will identify a few different levels on the path to financial freedom. This proceeds through financial security and financial independence and other levels that talk about having increasing freedom on the basis that you can take six-months off from working or a year or have your basic expenses covered through your investments or whatever.

To me, if you’re doing what you love to do, you are free and if you are not doing what you love to do, you are not.

What’s worse is that when people who strive for financial freedom finally get there will often look around and wonder “and now what?”

I’d prefer to live a life of purpose and peace… one in which I am doing what I am best at rather than just trying to get enough ‘stuff’ to satisfy my insecurities.

And maybe, just maybe, if we can cultivate purpose-driven living, we might help free people from the bonds of impressing others and trying to overcome insecurities that we hold to like an addiction, and instead we can let go of those fears and embrace what we can do best.

Anyway, it’s an old article but here it is

A happy woman and a man on a mission

On Sunday afternoon, I was discussing with a friend what we really love in a woman. Turns out that it wasn’t someone who cooked well or looks beautiful in a bikini (though we do appreciate such things!) but rather that we love being with a girl that is happy within herself. We love girls who radiate their happiness out to the world, so that when we walk along with them, we can bask in their beauty rather than being relied upon to “make them happy”.

I was just thinking about what women love in men and it occurred to me that there is a very similar dynamic. The best girls that I know (or at least my type!) don’t want to be with a man who constantly makes her happy: They want to be with a man on a mission. They want to be with a man who has a purpose in life, a reason for being and motivation for existence that is actually more than her… it’s almost like they want to be with a man who is going somewhere so that they can just focus on radiating their beauty while he looks after where they are going and how they are getting there.

Still, I’m not sure that all women really want to be with compassionate, non-needy yang men who love unconditionally and honour the paths that people choose for themselves… I’ve met a few women for whom such men would be frightening and confronting!

I haven’t always known this. And even when I have “thought” this to be the case, I haven’t always behaved accordingly. But it seems to fit to me for the moment…

Limitation disengage

A few minutes ago, I received the following message:

Fear and resistance arise when you don’t trust that where you are going is better than where you’ve been. What would you create right now if you knew you wouldn’t fail?

While there are a few of us who live a life of purpose and passion, most of us are not. And one of the few people that I know who says that he is, actually just lies to himself and everybody around him!

As I consider this sort of question, I feel it challenges you to look beyond the big idols of the modern world…

  • What would you do if nobody was watching?
  • What would you do if you couldn’t get the credit?
  • What would you do if you didn’t need the money?
  • How would you impact the world if you might die tomorrow?

Some suggest that we can only begin to live once we have faced death. This was part of the code of honour by which the samurai lived; part of many Mystery traditions in the East and in the West; and it remains, I believe, part of the cure to modern society’s materialism and affluenza.

For many, this relies upon listening to the voice within – as per the Daoist “not do” attitude, to surrender.

We each have our unique song to sing, and it’s not about having a bigger car or a bigger ring or more holidays, but rather it’s about living, loving, laughing and leaving a legacy.

For me, it’s making genius a choice rather than leaving it to chance… but what is it for you?

Mysteries, Puzzles, Enron and Confusing contracts

Mysteries and puzzles are very different.

Puzzles are solved by finding out more information – so if you want to find a terrorist, knowing what part of which mountain in which country he is hiding in will help. Mysteries carry with them an intrinsic amount of ambiguity, uncertainty and incomplete information, so that resolution is not so much dependent upon the information available as the skills of those interpreting the available information. Mathematically, a puzzle might be like a solution for simultaneous equations while a mystery might be more like a series of Nash equilibrium points for dynamic, changing and uncertain variables linked by equally dynamic and uncertain functions.

Malcolm Gladwell, author of The Tipping Point, Blink, New Yorker columnist... TEDster and pretty cool thinkerI was thinking (in response to Malcolm Gladwell’s article in The New Yorker) about how Enron was more a mystery than a puzzle. Skilling was convicted on fraud charges on the basis that he had not disclosed “sufficient” information, yet all the information had already been disclosed – the problem was that it was so complicated that nobody could understand what was written. Certainly the disclosures were complicated, yet it does seem strange that when the right person loses money because they didn’t understand what they were doing with their money they are able to take advantage of the criminal system to exact vengence on those that created the offered the opportunity to invest.

Australia is no better. Our Commonwealth Bank (amongst many other institutions) offers small business owners the opportunity to receive payments via credit cards. They charge a reasonable fee for this service, yet they offer the merchant virtually no security for the merchant. Their simplest form allows a merchant – such as a small mailorder company – to simply submit the credit card number and expiry date to the provider. Provided that the twenty digits are valid and that account has available money in the account, the money will be received in your account the next morning. A merchant can collect the security codes, the signature, the address and even take a photocopy of the cards themselves, and yet cannot validate any of this information. Yet the bank doesn’t warn its customers of this – it is certainly contained within the Terms and Conditions amongst the other few hundred pages, but the information is not presented in a useful manner.

I believe that many modern contracts are invalid.

Contracts require a variety of elements to be satisfied. Throughout most of the world, a signature on a contract makes that contract binding – it is assumed that you have read, understood and accept the terms and conditions provided in writing. But do you really? I recently signed a document that I am told was a form of lease: but it was all in Chinese. Is that contract binding? Is the license agreement that you skimmed through or skipped altogether when you installed you last piece of software really binding on you?

Sure, according to the law as it is today, once you sign something it’s binding. Yet should it be? Those of you thinking that “the law is the law” perhaps forget how recently it was that we invented such concepts, and that it is policy – most often driven by commercial demands – that generate the policies that we come to take for granted and assume to be universal.

In the evolving world in which we live, let’s remember that we can make the future how we like. Let’s remember that when we can think of a way to make things better, we can share that message and see it realised… that the future is being created all around you – right now.

Talking to yourself doesn’t always make you crazy

Intrapersonal communication skills create our quality of life. So what are your skills like?

Based on my presentation in People’s Square, Shanghai, 21 August 2007 

What you focus upon you will tend to bring into your life, whether it’s what you want or what you don’t want. It’s sometimes called The Law of Attraction, The Secret and a bunch of other names, but ultimately it’s pretty simple: Focus on what you want.

The questions that you ask yourself shift your focus and are one of the main ways that we think deliberately about anything. If you ask yourself “why does this always happen to me?” you’ll get a very different answer to “how can I make this better?” So ask yourself the questions that you really want answered.

Let go of your handbrake and go for it. None of us get an ‘certificate of attendance’ for life, so embrace the moment and accept the gift of the precious present.

Really, there are only two types of problem: Either you know what you want and don’t know how to get it, or you don’t know what you want. And a lot of the time, the first problem type is actually the second type in disguise! So what do you really want?

And remember a few attributes of geniuses…

  • It takes a decade to really get somewhere
  • You have to go beyond knowledge towards making a unique contribution
  • Postpone the need for closure and withstand conformance pressures
  • Cultivate skills, processes and the motivation
  • Focus your energy and effort
  • Be motivated by Mastery, Entertainment, Exploration and Happiness, before than external rewards

You are talented and it’s just a little jump to lift yourself up to being a ‘genius’ – and that’s somewhere that I can help…

Self-actualising is really simple!

In Brisbane a few years ago, I met a well known psychologist who studied with Maslow. He was telling me how there are three attributes that self-actualisers share in particular:

  1. Independent of the good opinion of others
    Do you like others to like, approve and validate you, or do you need it so much that you change your behaviour on the basis of what others will think of you?
  2. Non-attachment to outcome
    It’s great to have things turn out the way that we intend them, though self-actualisers do their part regardless of their outcome. They write because they are a writer – not because others read what they write
  3. No investment in power over others
    Having people love you and support you can make life easier and more pleasurable, however self-actualisers regard influence for its own sake as pointless. Though they may enjoy sharing the journey, though would prefer ‘fellow travellers’ rather than ‘disciples’.

A taste of slowThis sort of self-actualisation thinking sounds remarkably similar to concepts of Flow and even Now thinking.

Yesterday I was listening to a TED talk on the “Slowing down in a world built for speed”, ironically while the bus that I was travelling in was crawling along South Pudong Road, and again this seemed to fit very nicely. Let’s take the time to appreciate our world without regressing to the need to dominate others.

You can call me old fashioned, but I want to find my soulmate

SoulmateIt’s been 16 years since I first ‘had’ a girlfriend. Since then, I have had quite a few others… some for a few months, others for a few years. Sometimes the time that we shared was blissful and filled with love; other times was a passionate romantic adventure; still other times were learning experiences that tended to be painful in the moment.

I started with a criteria sheet – the twelve things that I wanted fulfilled. Being 17 at the time, I was too quick to “tick off” those criteria and too slow to realise or correct my mistake. Back then, I didn’t feel attractive or desirable, and was looking for someone else to ‘love me enough’ to make up for my own insecurities. That proved impossible.

For me, giving love was my next phase. I figured that if I gave enough love then I would get some back in return. But eventually (after being dumped six times within five months by the same girl – I’m a slow learner!) I realised that giving love to get love was similarly unsustainable.

I thought that I had “made it” when I realised that life is really about sharing love; that our part in this grand production of life is to share the light that lies within us. Yet, strangely enough to me at the time, not everybody wants to receive your love. To totally open your heart to another person is an amazing feeling – confronting and frightening and yet liberating… because it allows you to learn that you can be doing ‘your part’ in being loving and pure and giving, and it still not be enough if you’re not with the right person. Here, I learnt that part of sharing love is to honour others enough to permit them to follow their own path without judgment.

While my journey hasn’t ended, I’m back to where I started: criteria. My criteria are much the same as they were 16 years ago, yet the ‘judge’ is different. I don’t suggest that OHRoUL are for everybody… yet it is only when I went past just wanting to ‘receive’ or ‘give’ and beyond ‘sharing’ that I could finally know that to share an Open-Hearted Relationship of Unconditional Love requires you to embody love: Then you can choose others who can reflect back that love whilst radiating their own with whom to share your experience of life.

SoulmateIt’s not about judging others – it’s about knowing yourself and consciously choosing with whom you will share yourself. Thanks for helping me understand, Wendy.

Upcoming speaking sessions

My training calendar is starting to fill up! Here are some of my working titles…

  • 18 August: “Alignment, Part 2″
  • 21 August: “Intrapersonal Communication Skills: Talking to yourself doesn’t always make you crazy”
  • 29 August: “Getting things done: Roles, Outcomes and Contexts”

Self-actualisation

Self-actualisation was the phrase used by Maslow to denote the fulfillment of our highest human needs – an experience that we can all work towards yet very few attain. Self-actualised people are detached from the good opinions of others and have no desire for power over others; they follow their bliss and are true to themselves. Perhaps it is this pursuit that led my grandfather to spend so long nurturing his precious lawn!Here are some of the key characteristics for you to consider.

  • Realistic
  • Self-accepting
  • Spontaneous, simple and natural
  • Purpose-driven
  • Detached and objective
  • Live in the present moment with curiosity and freshness
  • Peak experience-driven
  • Shares compassion and profound love
  • Honours people for their humanity, accepting themselves and those around them
  • Focused in the moment, means and ends are inseparable
  • Enjoys humor but not at the expense of others
  • Creative and not attached to culturation
  • Resolves apparent dichotomies through appreciating the unity that lies beyond appearances

You cannot achieve enough to be happy. But you can happily achieve.




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