Playing Neil Strauss’ Game

I can hardly believe that this stuff is really out there. Apparently even in sleepy old Brisvegas, there are groups of Pick Up Artists searching out suitable targets… Note that this in unabashedly male-focused – perhaps even disturbingly so.

Please note that the below is not my opinion – rather a few notes from the recent book entitled “The Game”.

Basics of The Game:

  • Have something to offer a potential partner or mate… Dress sharp, speak well, maintain good posture (eg work out and do some yoga)
  • Act like the Alpha male: dominate men and women without offending or controlling, lest resentment creates resistance
  • People are moved by emotion rather than by reality: Manage their emotions by capturing and leading their imagination
  • Knowing The Rules frees us to look for more than superficial relationships that will not heal the fears of inadequacies that drives men to look for sex as validation of their value
  • The first problem is not to learn, but to unlearn

Mystery’s characteristics of the Alpha Male

  1. Confidence
  2. Smile: you’re together, fun and ‘somebody’
  3. Well groomed
  4. Sense of humor
  5. Connect with people
  6. Social center of a room
  • Some learn this “naturally”; others can learn logically
  • Don’t make ‘her’ feel special: let them feel that you could have anyone. Likewise, disarm with accidental back handed compliments and ignoring their obvious assets – disdain that which you don’t or can’t have.
  • Control the outcomes and options
  • “Phase-shift”: up the ante… “would you like to kiss me?”
  • Take the spotlight… Be the centre of attention
  • Punish undesirable behaviour by removing stimulation; reward desired behaviour
  • When approaching a group, ignore the person that you want to speak with to start with. Convey personality…
  • Relationships are more challenging than picking up… They require openness, honesty and caring.


  1. Select a target
  2. Approach and open
  3. Demonstrate value
  4. Disarm the obstacles
  5. Isolate the target
  6. Create an emotional connection
  7. Extract to seduction location
  8. Pump buying temperature
  9. Make physical connection
  10. Blast last minute resistance

That’s up to Step 3 – more to come…